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How To Free Yourself

Aug 18 2022
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I used to stress about everything in my life. However, while walking along “book street” on Nguyen Hue, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" by Mark Manson caught my eye, and it woke me up.

As a person who likes to live and work based on a detailed plan, I used to try to control everything in my life down to the last minute - spontaneity made me anxious. When things don’t go as planned, I feel frustrated not just for the day, but it sits with me for days, even weeks, later.

Also, I’m afraid of the unknown and not being able to solve problems and challenges in my future. On the other hand, I'm afraid of losing or getting hurt. So, with all these thoughts and worries constantly going through my head 24/7 I always feel extremely tired, under pressure and joyless.

“We don't always control what happens to us. But we can always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond.” — Mark Manson.

This quote from the book made me suddenly realize I needed to change my way of thinking to be happy. Life will always throw us surprises, so it’s pointless to try to control the uncontrollable. It's like holding sand in your hand; the tighter you hold it, the faster it slips through your fingers.

 

 

Okay, while it’s easy to say, not everyone has the courage to "let go of things” and reject the desire to control everything. Letting go is also an art. I applied the following tips to achieve true peace and freedom:

  • Controls are rooted in fear, so write them down to see that they're not as scary as you think. Try to get out of your "comfort zone" to overcome your fear.
  • Pay less attention to everything and only care about what is real, urgent, and important.
  • “Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.” — Mark Manson
  • Accept success and failure as part of life. When a big wave comes, don’t try to avoid it, but dive into it.
  • Expectations always make us fear the outcome and result in disappointment when it’s not met. So, lower expectations, especially of people because we can't control them, we can only control ourselves.
  • Learn to love yourself. Understanding your worth, you will no longer need to control anyone else.
  • Understand that anyone can make mistakes, including you.
  • Accept the things you cannot change. Leave the past behind and focus only on the present and the future.

Always trying to be in control will only tire you out. Learn to let go and enjoy the surprises that life brings.

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